Thursday, May 22, 2008

Do or die time

Things are still looking bleak on the job front in Halifax.  Yay.  I can't wait to leave it all behind!  I want some to make a killer offer on this house, so I can just be done with it.  It's sucking the life out of me and has been doing so for 12 years.  I am really not trying to come across as a spoiled brat.  I've spent 12 years being forced to be responsible for a place I don't want and never did.  I've never been allowed to grow up and move on with my life.  Halifax and Green Street are like some kind of life sucking vortex- at least for me.  This is not for me.  Once I am certified, I am shutting down my Canadian bank accounts, selling my car, selling everything I own(with a few exceptions) and handing the keys to my house over to my parents.  It is now time they deal with it, with it's mould, rotten walls and carpets.  I never want to see this house again.  I really mean it.  I am not one to live in one place for very long.  It's making me the most miserable person- no wonder I can't sustain friendships or relationships- how can I when I am miserable and so very unhappy?  I don't think it's fair.  Really and truly not fair to me.  While I am not 100% sure where I'll end up, I'm cool with that.  I need to live as Erin McGrail, wherever that may be.

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