Sunday, December 13, 2009


Welcome to December.
It's cold! Really cold. I hate winter. I like fall. I hate summer. I like Spring. Is there a country that has weather like Fall OR Spring all year round? I want to move to a country like that.

Monday, November 30, 2009


I am having a run of crappy luck. I had a long talk with my Mum this morning. She always gives good advice- even when I don't want to hear it. I've fallen for a person who has absolutely no feelings for me. As much as I try to put the feelings away I can't- how can you turn your emotions off like a tap? I have major self confidence issues and pretty much zero self esteem. I am 31 years old and I hate myself. I am single and not that I want a partner/husband- I would like to date. But as a 31 year old "fat chick"= I'm hardly disgusting- nobody wants to touch me. We all have our own tastes and preferences- I get that. I honestly feel like I am in high school again- as a student not as a teacher.
SO my mother told me to put this asshole in my past= that he has no place in my future. She's right- I've been down this path before and I don't need to repeat it. I need to just walk away from it. It sounds easy enough but it is the hardest thing I will have done at this point in my life. She said I had a choice- give up on him or give up on myself. So I chose him- give up on him not me.

Friday, November 20, 2009


So I've had some time to think. I have a months vacation in January and I am going home. For good. No more Korea. I'm done. I'm done running. I'm done avoiding reality. I'm done trying to be nice to assholes.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I am so homesick. I need to get home and pronto! I need some beach time. I need some of my Mama's cooking. And SOON

Saturday, November 14, 2009

GRRRRRR part 2

I am so tired. Beyond frustrated. I had a nice day today though- met up with a friend and went for lunch and to a traditional performance. It was incredibly amazing. I am still in awe of it all.

My funky mood of the last few months is starting to lift. I feel better but not 100%. I am trying really hard to keep a positive mindset. It's hard at times but I'm trying. I realize now that I have loved a person who does not, will not and cannot EVER feel the same way I do. That hurts me the most right now. I hate that I let my feelings run so freely. I need to be a stone- a cold-hearted bitch. I am honestly giving up on people. All people. It is the only way to save my heart , mind and soul at this point. I am ready to throw the towel in. Am I really that horrible of a person? Am I that hideous? That unlovable? I didn't think that I was that unattractive or horrible but this person has driven that point home for me. And I hear it loud and clear!

Thursday, November 5, 2009


I am having one of those days. I'm frustrated. So I joined a gym and went for a 2KM run. I feel a bit better. I am glad I joined the gym. I missed it. And the big plus is that it is super close to my house- honestly maybe a 4 minute walk. I like it. I start teaching on monday and I am a bit nervous. I just want to get my first day done....

Saturday, October 31, 2009

So tired....

Hi. It's Saturday. It's Halloween. It has been a very LONG week. I've changed jobs. I am still in Korea. I went from teaching 20 Kindergarten kids at a private academy to teaching 560 Grade 11 students at a public high school. Yeah big change! But I love it I am super happy that I made the change. I live in an awesome neighbourhood.

My passport and ARC are still at the local Immigration office. I am getting antsy to get them back- as I need to open a bank account and get my phone figured out. My phone company suspended all my outgoing calls and text messages because my Foreign ID card expired and I can't get it fixed until I have a new Foreign card. In Korea they are called ARCs- Alien Registration cards. I hate not being able to call or text people! It is a bit frustrating to be honest.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


survived my 2nd day at the high school. I have not started teaching yet but I have met many students. I remember nobodies names- except my coworkers.

i still am a bit out of sorts- new neighbourhood, new bed, new apartment, new job. i at least don't have to deal with jet lag- which is a nice change from the last two jobs! i am super nervous to start teaching on monday though. i have my lessons planned for the first two weeks though- so that is at least a nice thing.

i am going to curl up in bed and try to sleep more then 6 hours tonight.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009


I'm done! I'm done! I'm done!

I moved this afternoon. I am all unpacked- well my suitcases are empty and things are put away. I am sure I am going to start rearranging things over the next few days.


Saturday, October 24, 2009

3 and 2

Three classes. Two days. Then no more kindergarten. YEEEEEHAWWWW!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

One week

One week left at my current job. One week until I start my new job. I am tired- cleaning and packing. This week is report cards, and Parent-Teacher meetings. EEKS! It will all get done I know it will. I have a million things running through my head- and it is keeping me awake at night. I am not sleeping well and my skin is a bit insane.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I am barely breathing

Sitting in my apartment, listening to some folk music. Currently I am listening to an old fave of mine "Duncan Sheik". The song in the background is"Barely Breathing" which I am currently doing. I am barely breathing!

I am in a bit of a panic and trying not be panicked. I hate not being in control and I am in the midst of a situation in which I have little control. It is freaking me out.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


what do you when you love someone who has no idea?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Death and life

I am going all existential and shit right now. I am so tired mentally. My skin is so bad right now.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Feeling frustrated and foolish

I am tired.- not physically but mentally. I am drained. I don't know what to do, who to trust or where to go. I am going for a run down by the river. Exercise is not helping me out right now. I am going to turn into a total hermit and not talk to anyone else any more. Adios! I'm dunzo.

Sunday, September 6, 2009


For the last 12 years I have been a homeowner. An unwilling homeowner at that. For the last 4 years I have been fairly responsible for the condo- financially. I can't afford it. Never have and don't really want to. The house was bought as an investment for my university life. I graduated university 9 years ago. I have not lived in Nova Scotia in 4 years and not in Canada for 3. Why do I still own the place? Not really sure. Why do I not sell it? My parents want to keep it. Why do they not take over it? They don't want to. Why am I drowning in debt, living/working in Korea to pay for my parents house in Canada, while my millionaire parents sit pretty in their multi million dollar beach front property? Damned if I know. I am 31, and make pretty decent money- not great but decent. I am able to save a whopping 2 bucks a year. WOO HOO! At this rate I can retire when I am 150 thousand years old BUT i will have a house to retire to. One with mouldy rotten carpets, a bathroom with a giant hole in the wall, a kitchen whose counters are sinking in and cupboards are falling apart and last time I was there was infested with mice; all in a city I never intend to work or live in. Does this make sense to anyone? If it does, would you care to enlighten me. Seriously. Fill me in here. I have banged my head against a wall for far too long and at this point can't afford to waste any more brain cells.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

random weekends

So I met a friend in Itaewon for Thai food and then we wandered around. During dinner we were both complaining about how sore our backs were and how we needed massages. So we found a place and for a 50 minute aroma therapy back massage was 40 thousand won- just under 40 dollars. So we went for it. It was interesting for sure! The guy somehow ended up massaging my breasts- last time I checked my breasts WEREN'T on my back. I almost shat but didn't.

I feel a bit better- I almost have my neck back.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


So I have decided that I need an outlet to my stress. Since it is so FREAKING HOT in Korea, I am turning to writing. It has been very cathartic for me. I want to start walking again but summer is still raging in this land. Once it cools down then I am going to start walking again. Have my ITunes play list set up and am ready to do it. I am letting random little things build up inside me and I am starting to feel the effects of the stress. This is not a good thing at all. No job should ever make anyone feel as horrible as I feel at this job. I am a fairly competent and confident lady but this job makes me feel like pond scum. Like total pond scum. That is not cool.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Tears and Stress

So I have spent most of the last week drugged out of my mind and sleeping. The rest of the week I spent uncontrollably crying at work. I am very stressed out and that is not cool. I need to change the situation. As a friend told me "You are a smart woman. You just need to change when you are nice to people and when you are a bitch to people." I thought about it and he has a point. I was mad at first but it made sense. Hearing criticism about your own personality/character is never easy to hear but it is easier when it is from a friend.

So work has me totally freaked out and stressed. I'm not getting into specifics as I know blogs are so widely read and I do not want to screw up the chances for my future. I am not happy and I've got to change my situation. Seriously have to change it. No job should cause that much stress. EVER. I know a lot of people do not always like their jobs but this is just not right.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Infections, fevers and meds oh my!

I am sick. I have medication. It is making me incredibly sleepy and crappy. I can barely function. I passed out at work and was sent home- I am happy the director stood up for me. I had asked yesterday if someone could cover my afternoon class and everyone gave me some lame ass excuse. Thankfully the director stepped up.

Saturday, August 8, 2009


So I recently went to Japan on a 4 day mini-vacation. The KCDC warns that if we feel sick within 7 days of returning we should visit them. Well I have a cold- and I doubt I have the swine flu. BUT I am going to the doctors tomorrow- coupled with this summer cold is an ear infection. I thought that horrific ear operation at age 4 was supposed to cure these horrible ear infections? I suppose not- instead it left gnarly looking scars on the insides of my ears and me cross-eyed from over medicating a 4 year old. YAY! I am grumpy. I need another vacation. Maybe a permanent one from Korea and the crap I associate with it.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Mind Readers

OK so I just spent the last hour crying. Not useful at all. Doesn't make me feel any better. I actually feel worse.

I am tired of people who expect me to be a mind reader. It is hard on the soul, the body and mind. I have officially reached my breaking limit. I have been pushed over my limit. I throw my hands in the air. I am throwing the towel in. I am DUNZO. I can't do this shit any more.

Friday, July 31, 2009


Well i have returned to Korea from a 3 day "mini-vacation" to Tokyo. It was a much needed and restful break. I ate sushi like it was going out of style- and walked around Tokyo for three days. I am dead tired and I love it. I slept like a baby- I have not slept that well since I left Canada in October.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Is it vacation yet? I am exhausted and stressed. Need a break from work and the kids. We went on a field trip to a farm last week. The kids seemed to enjoy themselves. The farm had some yellow lab puppies and I fell in love. I wanted to dognap one or two of them but I refrained. Even the one who peed on me. The little shit- peed all over me- which to me means that he was just staking his claim on a new owner.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Welcome to June

I am tired. Very tired. Extremely tired. I am going through a small bought of Insomnia. Last night almost did me in. A massive thunder and lightening storm hit right outside my apartment building. I love thunder and lightening storms but this one was huge and loud. And kept me awake for most of the night. I am very tired.

Japan is getting closer and closer and I am looking forward to it. I am going alone and I don't really care. I'd like to travel with a friend but that's life. I need to re-energize. and re-organize my head.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

OK so I have three days left until my Birthday. EEKS, I am barely breathing- I have the Duncan Shiek song in my head at the moment and it won't go away.

I enjoyed a nice weekend with friends. The weather is nice- hot but so disgustingly so. The rainy season hasn't started yet- thank god and I am not looking forward to it either.

I have finally started to learn Korean. Trying to memorize the alphabet right now. And the days of the week. Hmmm this language isn't as difficult as I originally thought- but I have a good teacher too!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Happy Easter!

Well it is Easter weekend. My 3rd in Korea. My third April in Korea. Am I insane? I don't need answer to that question- I already know it.

I have been in a very funky mood lately. I am the only one who can fix it- by paying attention to myself and doing some serious choices about life.

I am going through a major bout of home sickness. One of my best friends lost their father-in-law to cancer two weeks ago. Got me thinking about my life, my family and my friends.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

plaster disaster

the plaster of paris was a disaster.  a messy messy disaster!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

plaster of paris

Well I am going to attempt to make plaster of paris hand prints with my Kindergarten kids tomorrow.  EEKS!  I have not made one since i was 5 years old and in kindergarten.  Should be a messy messy day!  
I love my KG class.  They are too funny.  I had one child today have an explosive nosebleed all over my white shirt.  Yeah- of course it would only happen to me!  He did apologize which was cute.  The shirt was old and nasty so I'm not too concerned!

I finally figured out why I've been hobbling around like a gimped up old  lady- broken toes- the two beside my big toe on my right foot.  Ha ha ha- but not in the funny ha ha way.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Insomnia- cured.  Homesickness- insane and out of control right now.  Nothing major brought it on- I think I just could use some time at home.  I miss my family and friends.  I miss my car- a lot right now.  I also am battling with WHY I even came back to Korea for year two!  I really don't know what possessed me.  I hated it the first time round with a passion and the 2nd time round isn't much damn better!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


I am going through a bought of insomnia.  It sucks balls.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Happy New Year!

Well it is now 2009!  Woo Hoo!  I go back to work tomorrow.  Boo.  I have been applying for work in Mexico.  I need to work in a nice warm climate.  My skin hates me right now.  And I think it has every right to hate me!  

I am foul and grumpy and not all that impressed with Korea.