GRRRRRR part 2

I am so tired. Beyond frustrated. I had a nice day today though- met up with a friend and went for lunch and to a traditional performance. It was incredibly amazing. I am still in awe of it all.

My funky mood of the last few months is starting to lift. I feel better but not 100%. I am trying really hard to keep a positive mindset. It's hard at times but I'm trying. I realize now that I have loved a person who does not, will not and cannot EVER feel the same way I do. That hurts me the most right now. I hate that I let my feelings run so freely. I need to be a stone- a cold-hearted bitch. I am honestly giving up on people. All people. It is the only way to save my heart , mind and soul at this point. I am ready to throw the towel in. Am I really that horrible of a person? Am I that hideous? That unlovable? I didn't think that I was that unattractive or horrible but this person has driven that point home for me. And I hear it loud and clear!